Baby Riku
by hexpinteas
Summary: Ok, this is a story when Riku was mistaken for a baby by the queen of hearts in wonder land. He keeps on telling everyone that's he's not a baby but in stand of listening to him everyone just pinch his cheeks, baby talk him, or just change his diaper.


_**Baby Riku**_

Riku and the king just left Castle Oblivion and gotten separated when they were looking for Sora and his friends and landed up in Wonderland.

Chapter 1: Lost

While flying around in the universe in an old run down gummie ship that Riku was flying Mickey leans over a bit towards Riku and ask:

"Hey, Riku are you sure this ship that you took from the origination is good for flying?"

"Ya. Why?"

engine starts to struggle

All the lights in the ship turned red.

Computer: "SYSTEM FAILURE IN ENGINE EMERGENCY LANGING"

Mickey gave Riku a look.

"Ok... my bad."

While wigging his finger to Mickey.

Quickly they start to buckle their seatbelts.

"Get ready your Majesty!"

As the ship was about to crash they both cried at the same time.

"AAAAAHHHHH!!!"

Hours later when Riku woke up he notices that the ship was completely destroyed and spit into two.

He starts to look around for the king.

"YOUR MAJESTY!!! WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!"

Looking high and low for the king.

"That's it I'm using my dark powers to find him!"

He puts his arms out in front of him but only a little spark came out.

His stomach starts to growl

"Damn! I haven't eaten in a while."

Looking around for something to eat he trips over an old log and found a whole bunch of mushrooms that looked exactly like the ones on his islands.

"Sweet!"

He made a little fire to cook the mushrooms.

Soon after he finished and put out the fire.

After a few minutes he felt a little dizzy.

"Oh dear God!"

His body just felt like in been sucked into the ground and everything became bigger.

He stubbed and slid off a short cliff and was knock out as soon as he fell into the picket basket that the flowers were making.

While still sliding down in the picket basket he fell into a dark glowing hole in the ground.

Chapter 2: Playing baby for the Queen

Riku fell right out of the sky and landed right in front of the Queen of Hearts' castle. While making a loud thudded on the porch.

The twin doors flew open as the queen yelled so the whole kingdom could hear:

"WHO DISTURBS MY NAP?!?!?!?!"

She looks around and notices a basket on the ground with a light blue blanket covering something up.

"GUARDS COME SEE WHAT THIS IS!"

An Ace of diamonds runs over and pulls away the blanket and saw Riku unconscious inside.

The Ace gives a solute and responds.

"It looks like a baby boy your Majesty no older the 2 or 3 months old."

"IT IS?!"

The Ace of diamonds nodded.

"OUT OF MY WAY THEN!!!"

She pushes the Ace way.

She takes a good long look at Riku and finally she stands up holding Riku over her head up by his armpits for all of her guards to see inside the castle.

"THIS IS MY NEW SON AND HIS NAME IS SHIRLEY!"

The Joker card jiggles a bit.

Quickly the queen held Riku in her arms.

"OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!"

In a heartbeat two more cards came into the room to take the Joker away.

"Now I need a nursery for my new baby boy Shirley."

Everyone got to work right away and in less then a minute a huge new tower was built little Rik- oopes! I mean Shirley.

Chapter 3: This can't be happening to me!

Finally Riku awoke with a pounding headache.

"…ooohhh….what hit me…?"

While slowly getting up he puts his hand on his forehead and notices a flap sticking straight up on top of his head with frilliest on the edges of it.

Feeling around on the rest of his head he also notices on the back of his head was covered and on the bottom of his chin was a big light blue bow.

Just now realizing it was a bonnet.

Looking around he realized he was laying an old fashioned crib.

Quickly feeling around the rest of his body he finds out that his shirt was missing and sticking out of the light blanket that he was covered in was his foot with baby blue colored booties on with white fillies around his ankle just like the bonnet he was wearing.

Now feeling a little weird blow the belt he pulls back the blanket and found out his was wearing a big bulky diaper with yellow hearts shaped straps on both sides to hold the diaper up.

"WHAT THE HEL-"

Before he could finish what he was saying he heard some voices behind the twin doors in the hallway.

Riku quickly covered himself up with the blanket as the queen and two of her guards comes busting through the double doors.

Quietly she said:

"Not one of you two make a sound."

The queen told the two cards as she slowly walked over to Riku and causally pulled back the blanket.

Riku was pretending to be asleep.

She picks him up and pinches him on his cheek and wiggles his face a little.

"…Aaawww… isn't my Shirley, Worley the cuties?"

Riku slaps her hand away.

"…Aaawww… I think somebody hungry!"

"NO I'M NOT HUN-"

The queen crams a pacifier into Riku's mouth.

Then she glares at her two guards without missing a heartbeat.

"WELL DON'T JUST STAND THERE!!! PREPARE A ROYAL FEST FOR MY NEW BABY BOY!!! I WANT EVERYONE IN MY KINGDOM TO BE THERE ON THE DOUBLE!!! I DON'T WANT HIM TO STARVE TO DEATH!!!"

Chapter 4: No one will listen to me!

Later on that night while everything was being prepared for the party.

Riku was up stairs in the nursery sitting by the fire pretending to play with his tinker toys while the queen was sitting in a rocking chair by the window sewing a new pair of pink fuzzy footy pajamas in the corner of the room.

Riku put his hand on his check and rolled his eyes.

Soon after a three of clubs came into the room holding a little black tuxedo with a big red bowtie in one hand and a pair of fancy dress shoes and a tiny pair of white gloves in the other.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH IT'S SO CUTE!!!!! LOOK SHIRLEY YOU GOT A NEW PAIR OF CLOTHES!!!"

Riku was in shock and thought to himself:

(No way in Hell in wearing that!)

But before Riku could say anything the three of clubs swooped him up and put him on to the diaper changing table trying to put the suit on him.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!!!"

The three of clubs stares at Riku for a second.

The queen was getting annoyed.

"WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG?!?!?"

The three of clubs turned around.

"I think the baby just talked."

"YOU KNOW BABIES ONLY SPEAK JIBBERRY HERE!!!"

"Yes, I'm sorry your Majesty."

"NOW ARE YOU JUST GOING TO STAND THERE OR DO I HAVE TO DO IT MYSELF!!!"

"Yes, I'm sorry your Majesty." the three of clubs repeated.

He turns around and quickly yet forcedly puts the suit on Riku.

"HEY WAIT STOP!"

When he was finally finished he step on the side so the queen could take a good look at him.

Riku was sitting in the middle of the table sitting like a biota with his hands inside of his legs.

"AAAHHH HE'S EVEN CUTTER THEN BEFORE!!!"

Riku feeling all embarrass puts his head down.

Then the five of spades comes into the room reporting.

"Everything is ready my queen!"

"Good!"

Acting all powerful.

"Wre wee weady Shirley?"

(Making baby talk to Riku.)

Riku just clashes his teeth.

The queen lifts Riku up and walks down to the party.

Chapter 5: From bad to worst.

At the party Riku was placed into a highchair with a blue bib with the words sewn in it: "Big Boy" with a tight not under his neck that he couldn't untie.

He was place on the queen's right side for all to see.

He tried wiggling out of the highchair that he couldn't get out from.

Everyone was talking about him and the queen until a trumpet blown by a white rabbit on top of the Blakeley.

"Let the royal fest for the queen and her new son Shirley!"

Everyone giggles a bit.

"Begin!"

Riku was so embarrass at he nearly faints.

Then food appear out of no were onto the table.

Everyone got different and amazing kind of dishes while Riku gotten white mush that smelled liked something had died in his big yellow blow right in front of him.

(No one else could smell what he had due to all the other rich smells in the room.)

He didn't even want to look at it.

Let alone taste it.

He looked at the bubbles that were rising up.

Then a huge one rose right in the middle of the blow.

He stairs at it for a second until it exploded in his face leaving a putrid smell in his nose.

He leans over the high chair trying not to punk.

"…Aaawww… wittle Shirley wdoun't dnow dow twu weat wet."

(FYI: "…Aaawww… little Shirley doesn't know how to eat yet.")

Doing her baby talk that Riku despise so much.

She picks up the little plastic spoon right by him and gathers up a big spoon full.

"Say: "Aw" for mommy."

As she slowly move the spoon towards his mouth.

Riku backs away while grabbing the inner edge of his highchair and tightly closing his lips.

"…Come on Shirley… don't you want to grow big and strong when you all grown up like your mommy?"

"NO! I DON-"

The queen quickly shoves the spoon into his mouth.

Riku made a loud gulp as the mush slides down his throat.

It was so nauseating he nearly through up.

The queen dipped the spoon into the blow again gathering up even more then the last one.

Feeling so dizzy that the room started to spin a little.

He looked at the spoon and quickly ate it.

Thinking she might stop if he ate a little more.

This went on for awhile until Riku plops his face on his table so hard that the blow of mush flies up into the air and lands on top of his head as soon as he rises from the table.

Leaving him covered from head to toe in the bad smelling mush.

Everyone in the room starts to laugh while the queen tries to clean Riku up with her napkin.

Trying to stay clam she yells:

"Guards come here!"

The six of hearts came rushing in.

"Give Shirley a bath and quickly"

The six of hearts quickly grabs Riku and ran off.

The queen turns around to the guesses with a mean look on her face.

"GET OUT EVERYONE!!!"

Everyone runs out of the castle and in a flash everyone was gone.

Meanwhile the six of hearts was headed to the baths Riku fainted again do to the smell of the mush.

Chapter 6: Someone get me out of here!

Once the party was over everything was back to normal.

Later Riku awoke in a hot steamy room where the hard floor was a giant square shape pool in the ground with a huge lion shaped face with hot water pouring from it's mouth.

He squinted his eyes to look around and found out he butt naked with at least six of the queen's guards washing him from head to toe.

"Hey what going on here?!"

Then one of the six cards squeezed a squirt of shampoo in his hand.

It smelled like flowers and it was very strong smelling.

"If you make me smell like a girl I'm going to kill you!"

Ignoring what Riku just said the seven of clubs rubs his hands together and starts to clean his hair.

"Damn it smells so girly!!!"

The seven of clubs scrubs even harder to get the smell out.

While the other five cards continues to clean his feet, arms, legs, back, and chest.

Once the bath was finally over the cards quickly rapped Riku up in a red towel and rushes him back up to the nursery.

Once they were back up they quickly put Riku on the diaper changing table and held him down lifted his legs up put a fresh clean diaper under him, as one of the six guards squeezed some baby lotion in his hand and begins to rub it in.

"Damn you all!"

Before he could say anything else the same guard who put the baby lotion on him grabbed the baby powder and sprinkled it on his butt and typed his diaper up with the two heart spaded stickers on both of hi sides.

Trying to resist any more touchier they slip the pink fuzzy footy pajamas on him that the queen was making earlier and quickly they zipped the zipper up.

Riku tried to undo it but it was stuck.

He also notices that the queen put a giant red heart in the center of it.

"My life is just perfect isn't it?!"

Being all sarcastic about it.

Then they put another bonnet on his head just like before but this time it was pink just like his pajamas he was wearing and a not that was four times as bigger and titer then the one before.

"A-goo-goo-gaa-gaa"

The nine of diamonds trying to clam Riku down while grabbing and wiggling his right cheek.

"BACK OFF YOU!"

He slaps his hand away.

"…Aaawww…I think somebody's cranky!"

Riku glared at him.

"…I hate you…"

Saying an angry tone.

The nine of diamonds lifts Riku up and puts him in his crib.

"…I really hate you…"

Still not listening the nine of diamonds covers Riku up before he could get away and tusks him in so tight that he couldn't even move an inch.

"…No…_reall_y I hate you man."

Widening the halo toy with animals and stars over him to help him sleep.

Riku just got angrier.

"…You're a dead man…"

Just when everyone was about to leave the room the eight of spaces just remember something.

"I nearly forgot!"

He pulls out a pink pacifier with a big red heart on the end of the handle just like Riku's footy pajamas.

He walks over to Riku seeing trying to escape.

"Here you go Shirley; this will calm you down a bit."

In a soft voice.

"I DON'T NEED A PACIFIER TO CAL-"

The eight of spaces puts the pacifier in his mouth then walks away slowly while turning off the lights.

Chapter 7: FINALLY!

Later on that night starring at the halo toy and sucking on the pacifier to escape insanity.

He thought to himself: (Is this going end really like this? Being babied all the time? With no one to listen to me? It's going to really end up like this? Is the king that mad at me for crashing the ship? And did he just forgot about me and left me here?)

All these questions running through his head.

Riku stops sucking the pacifier for a moment.

(Well I didn't get to sleep in an actual bad for awhile I might as well get some sleep.)

Riku slowly closes his eyes and falls asleep.

Later in the middle of the night a loud crash happen that woke Riku up.

He tries to get up but forgot he was tucked into tightly.

Crush the footsteps made over the broken glass.

Riku was now nerves.

The black shadow slowly crept over on the side of the crib.

Riku's heart starts to beat rapidly as the shadow slowly backs away.

The shadow creeps towards the light swish and flips it back on.

"Riku is that you?"

The shadow said with a frillier voice.

Riku just rose up a little to get a small glance at the shadow.

Sure enough it was Mickey.

Riku spits out the pacifier.

"…Your…Majesty...?"

Mickey walks over to Riku.

"Why are you wearin-?"

"Don't ask."

They stare at each other for a moment and start to laugh.

But it shortly ended as the queen burses though the room.

She looks down at the tiny man.

"THIEF!!!"

Mickey plugging his ears.

"IS SHE ALWAYS THIS LOUD RIKU?!?!"

Riku answered:

"YOU DON'T KNOW THE HALF OF IT!!!"

The queen turns around to call her guards.

"GUARDS COME QUICK A THIEF IS TRYING TO SEAL MY BABY SHIRLEY AWAY FROM ME!!!"

Mickey turns to Riku.

While giggling a bit.

"Shirley …?"

"SHUT UP!!! IT'S NOT MY CHOICE OF A NAME!!!"

Then a whole bunch of cards came into the nursery room while holding a numbest of weapons pointed at Mickey.

Chapter 8: RUN!

Mickey quickly turned his head to Riku and said:

"It's time to go!"

Riku made a big grin on his face.

"Finally!"

Mickey pulls out his keyblade and cuts Riku free.

Riku takes in a big gasp of air and jumps out of the crib.

"Nice PJs Riku."

Trying his best not to laugh.

"SHUT UP!!!"

The queen getting more mad and scared.

"I DON'T JUST STAND THERE SAVE MY BABY!!!"

All the guards charged at Mickey.

But Mickey and Riku hops on top of their heads and lands through the door, down the long hallway and starts to run as fast as they could without looking back.

"AFTER THEM YOU FOOLS!!!"

Getting a good distance from running down so many hallways and stairs Riku falls over.

Mickey quickly runs back to Riku to help him up.

"Your Majesty most of my limbs are numb do to the hours of being tuck in so tight."

"Wait I have an idea!"

Quickly pulling out a mushroom from his right pocket.

Riku backs off.

"NO WAY MAN I'M NOT FALLING FOR THAT AGAIN!"

A voice came out of now where a few halls down where they where at.

"I think I hear a couple of voices down hear."

One of the guards said.

Riku snatches the mushroom out of Mickey's hand and takes a big bite.

Suddenly Riku body grew back to his original 15-year-oldself.

(Also his clothes grew along with him.)

"Now that's the Riku I know!"

"Hmph" Riku with a smirk.

Feeling a little wobbly just like before he was about to run he quickly gather himself up and starts running again.

"Where are we heading your Majesty?"

"Umm… I really don't know."

"WHAT?!?!"

Bumps into a guard.

"Hey! I found them!"

Calling out to the others.

"Ok I had it!"

Riku grabs Mickey under his right armpit and jumps out of a glass window.

"NO! WAIT SHIRLEY!"

He and the king landed safely in the garden.

"MY NAME IS NOT AND NEVER WILL BE SHIRLEY!!!

He ran off with the king still under his armpit.

Just when the guard was about to jump out to window to go after them three more guards came rushing through.

"What happen here?!"

"Shirley just jumped out of this window with the thief!"

"Well let's go after them!"

They all tried jumping out of the window all at the same time but gotten stuck.

Still running away looking for the ship outside Riku looked at Mickey and asked him:

"Where did you park the ship?!"

Mickey points up.

He lifts his head to look up.

"…oh..."

And there it was high in the sky.

Mickey pulls out a remote from his pocket.

Just about to press the button to beam them up the queen shoots an arrow and destroys the remote.

Mickey and Riku both cried:

"No!"

"No one seals my baby away and gets away with it!"

Chapter 9: See ya!

"THAT'S IT!"

Ripping the bonnet off with his bear hand.

Drops Mickey on the ground.

Mickey looking so scared he slowly backs away.

"YOU LISTEN TO ME FROM ONCE YOU OLD HAG!!!"

The queen lowers her bow in shock.

"ALL THIS TIME PEOPLE HAVE BEEN BURPING ME, TRYING TO FEED ME SLOP OUT OF A BOTTLE, MADE ME WEAR RIDICULES CLOTHES, BABIED TALK TO ME OUT OF MY MIND, AND EVEN CHANGED MY DIAPER A COUPLE OF TIMES EVEN WHEN IT WAS CLEAN!!!"

Points at the queen while she was still in shock.

"SO I HAVE THIS FINALE THING TO SAY TO YOU!!!"

Takes in a big deep long breath.

"NEVER EVER CALL ME:

!!!SHIRLEY!!!"

Riku breads in and out heavily.

She drops her bow and started to cry a bit.

"…You can go now…"

Quietly speaking but just enough to be heard.

She picks up her bow and arrow and ties a rope on the end on the arrow and carefully aims at the ship

The arrow hits the side of the door perfectly.

Dropping her bow she walks over to Riku.

"…Here…"

Speaking in a depressing voice while handing him the end of the rope.

"Thank you."

They smiled at each other.

"You better get going before my guards come."

"Oh! Right! Come on your Majesty!"

Mickey climbs on his back.

"I'm so sorry about all of this."

Riku just smiled.

Quickly they climb the rope before anyone came.

"…Good bye Shir- I mean Riku…"

And in a flash they were gone.

Finally the guards ran into the garden.

"We heard some yelling and noises. What happen my Queen?"

She just starred at the sky.

"My Queen?"

She finally spoke.

"They grow up so fast."

Chapter 10: Ending

Once they were inside Mickey handed him his old clothes.

"Oh thank God!"

Slopping down Riku feeling all relieved.

"Where did you find my old clothes?"

"I found them in the laundry room while looking for you."

"Thank you."

"Do you like the new ship?"

"Yes, yes I do."

He went into the bathroom and begins to change.

Once they were out of that part of the galaxy they found a nice quiet grassy planet to start a small fire and look up at the stars and talk.

Soon after Riku told everything what had happen.

"Wow! That's one funny story."

"Oh one more thing before I forget."  
"What's that Riku?"

"This ever even happen."

"Got ya!"

Giving a thumb's up.

Riku turned over on to his side to fall asleep.

"Good night Mickey!"

"Good night… Shirley!"

"HEY!"

Soon after when the fire was burnt out and the moon was directly over head Riku pulls out the pacifier he was hiding and puts it in his mouth a quietly begins to suck on it.

The king knew what Riku was doing but he didn't mind at all.


End file.
